‘The Best Laid Plans’: 101 Reasons Why Lessons Go Wrong

bestlaidplans

I have been teaching for nearly 14 years, and only recently have I come to accept that are just some things beyond your control.

Entrances and exits

  1. Late from registration
  2. Late from last lesson
  3. Late from PE (standard)
  4. Late from assembly
  5. Late from speaking to another teacher
  6. Doctor’s appointment
  7. Time out card
  8. Toilet pass
  9. PE fixture
  10. Art trip
  11. Intervention

Unwelcome interruption

  1. Fire alarm
  2. Door alarm (sounds like fire alarm)
  3. Car alarm
  4. Tannoy
  5. Someone needs to talk to a student
  6. Someone needs to talk to you
  7. Someone pops in and pops back out but you can’t see who
  8. Someone’s on a learning walk
  9. Two people on a learning walk
  10. Several people on a learning walk
  11. Several people on a learning walk with the head
  12. Several people on a learning walk from another school
  13. Several people on a learning walk from Denmark
  14. Ofsted
  15. Pseudo Ofsted or Ofsted-lite
  16. Student passes wind
  17. You pass wind
  18. Visitor passes wind

Teacher down

  1. Tripping over a wire
  2. Tripping over unusual name – Ha! Ha!
  3. Smacking into a desk
  4. Dropping a book
  5. Dropping a pen
  6. Dropping the clicker

IT failure (high and low tech)

  1. No sound
  2. No visuals
  3. No sound or visuals
  4. An excess of sound
  5. No internet
  6. Internet but no YouTube
  7. YouTube but clip won’t load
  8. YouTube but clip has gone
  9. YouTube, clip there, but blocked
  10. Computer locked from last teacher
  11. Desk locked from last (messy) teacher
  12. Board pen runs out
  13. No board pen
  14. No board rubber
  15. Red or green pens only
  16. No remote

Freudianisms

  1. Accidental double entendre
  2. Accidental rude word
  3. Rude word you never knew was a rude word
  4. Rude word in a text
  5. Rude word in a text you never knew was a rude word
  6. Rude word shouted out
  7. Taboo word in a text you had forgotten
  8. Taboo word in a text you remembered but thought you would discuss

Health and safety

  1. Coffee spillage
  2. Tea spillage
  3. Pen spillage
  4. Someone’s brought something up
  5. Someone’s brought something in
  6. Chair incident
  7. Table incident

Teacher standards

  1. Poor planning
  2. No planning
  3. Over planning
  4. Lost plan
  5. Planning for wrong day
  6. Poor question
  7. Poor example
  8. Poor resource
  9. Poor task
  10. Confusing instruction
  11. Confusing explanation
  12. Generally confusing yourself
  13. You’re tired
  14. You’re hungover
  15. You’re tired and hungover
  16. Students are hungover (sixth form only!)

Pesky kids

  1. No pen
  2. No book
  3. No planner
  4. No homework
  5. Nothing!
  6. Trainers
  7. Earrings
  8. Chewing gum
  9. Fidget spinner (or generational equivalent)

Seasonal

  1. Wet break
  2. Windy break
  3. Too hot
  4. Too cold
  5. Too slippery
  6. Wasps
  7. Bees
  8. Flies
  9. Butterflies
  10. Yes, pigeons!

 

It’s just a bit of fun. None of this has ever happened.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “‘The Best Laid Plans’: 101 Reasons Why Lessons Go Wrong

  1. Pingback: I am not prepared to tell him… yet – KristianStill

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