I have been teaching for nearly 14 years, and only recently have I come to accept that are just some things beyond your control.
Entrances and exits
- Late from registration
- Late from last lesson
- Late from PE (standard)
- Late from assembly
- Late from speaking to another teacher
- Doctor’s appointment
- Time out card
- Toilet pass
- PE fixture
- Art trip
- Intervention
Unwelcome interruption
- Fire alarm
- Door alarm (sounds like fire alarm)
- Car alarm
- Tannoy
- Someone needs to talk to a student
- Someone needs to talk to you
- Someone pops in and pops back out but you can’t see who
- Someone’s on a learning walk
- Two people on a learning walk
- Several people on a learning walk
- Several people on a learning walk with the head
- Several people on a learning walk from another school
- Several people on a learning walk from Denmark
- Ofsted
- Pseudo Ofsted or Ofsted-lite
- Student passes wind
- You pass wind
- Visitor passes wind
Teacher down
- Tripping over a wire
- Tripping over unusual name – Ha! Ha!
- Smacking into a desk
- Dropping a book
- Dropping a pen
- Dropping the clicker
IT failure (high and low tech)
- No sound
- No visuals
- No sound or visuals
- An excess of sound
- No internet
- Internet but no YouTube
- YouTube but clip won’t load
- YouTube but clip has gone
- YouTube, clip there, but blocked
- Computer locked from last teacher
- Desk locked from last (messy) teacher
- Board pen runs out
- No board pen
- No board rubber
- Red or green pens only
- No remote
Freudianisms
- Accidental double entendre
- Accidental rude word
- Rude word you never knew was a rude word
- Rude word in a text
- Rude word in a text you never knew was a rude word
- Rude word shouted out
- Taboo word in a text you had forgotten
- Taboo word in a text you remembered but thought you would discuss
Health and safety
- Coffee spillage
- Tea spillage
- Pen spillage
- Someone’s brought something up
- Someone’s brought something in
- Chair incident
- Table incident
Teacher standards
- Poor planning
- No planning
- Over planning
- Lost plan
- Planning for wrong day
- Poor question
- Poor example
- Poor resource
- Poor task
- Confusing instruction
- Confusing explanation
- Generally confusing yourself
- You’re tired
- You’re hungover
- You’re tired and hungover
- Students are hungover (sixth form only!)
Pesky kids
- No pen
- No book
- No planner
- No homework
- Nothing!
- Trainers
- Earrings
- Chewing gum
- Fidget spinner (or generational equivalent)
Seasonal
- Wet break
- Windy break
- Too hot
- Too cold
- Too slippery
- Wasps
- Bees
- Flies
- Butterflies
- Yes, pigeons!
It’s just a bit of fun. None of this has ever happened.
Thanks for reading.
Reblogged this on The Echo Chamber.
This made me LAUGH OUT LOUD, Phil! Thank you! Have a week ahead where nothing goes awry.